Anthony Bradford is the worst player on the Seahawks and I don’t know who that news is worse for: Bradford or Christian Haynes?
This TikTok highlights Bradford’s lowlights against the Cardinals and while a player is more than his worst plays, Bradford is also personally responsible for some of his teammate’s worst plays so we can’t feel bad:
As bad as Bradford has been, these are also some of the funniest clips I’ve ever seen from an offensive lineman. It’s just unfortunate that he plays for the Seahawks.
There were claims in the offseason that “Bradford lost weight” and “Bradford is going to be a great fit for Kubiak” and “Bradford isn’t the same player as before” and that was just coming from the Seahawks! This is why they don’t call it the on-season.
My wife and I have been watching Sex and the City for the first time and we’re almost done with the original six-season series. Personally I’ve found the show to be boring and very broad humor that you’d find on any network at 8:30 PM on a Tuesday, but in the penultimate episode Carrie slips and falls flat on her face in Dior. That was one of the funniest moments of the series, I wish they did that more often and made Carrie the butt of the joke like a Lucille Ball type.
Coincidentally, her last name also starts with “Brad-”…
Bradford’s horrific play was able to stay under the radar the last couple of years because of who his offensive line teammates were and he can’t really do that anymore. Abe Lucas isn’t having the greatest start to the season or anything, but with Grey Zabel on the opposite site instead of Laken Tomlinson, there’s just one clear butt of the joke left on Seattle’s line:
If Kubiak is claming that the guards behind Bradford are actually worse than this, maybe throw them in there so can at least get some even bigger laughs.
And just like that…
In 2024, the Seahawks guards were:
Laken Tomlinson (rumors are that he’s been benched 3 games into his first season with the Texans)
Sataoa Laumea (Saints practice squad)
Christian Haynes (Seahawks IR but all signs pointed to him being on the bench or released outright with no return)
Bradford
When you look at this way, the Seahawks legitimately did not have a starting caliber guard on the entire roster in 2024. The team responded by overhauling their offensive line coaching staff, drafting Zabel, Bryce Cabeldue, and Mason Richman, and signing Josh Jones in free agency.
The team also opted to start Jalen Sundell at center rather than sticking him at right guard and giving that job to Olu Oluwatimi. And a week ago, the Seahawks signed veteran Shane Lemieux, a former fifth round pick of the Giants but someone who has only started seven games in the last 5 years.
Jones, a former third round pick, has actually only started 24 career games in six years and half of those came at tackle. He was ruled out of Week 4’s game against his former team with an ankle injury but he could make sense as a stopgap replacement for Bradford when he’s healthy. Cabeldue and Richman are on the roster, sure, but can Seattle fans trust that the Seahawks drafted ready-made day three rookies who can start given the issues with Haynes, Bradford, and Laumea?
The last time the Seahawks drafted a day three offensive lineman who wouldn’t give you a panic attack was probably Mark Glowinski in 2015.
What would you do?
Unfotunately, the trade market could be a non-starter too. Non-starter? Hey, just like Bradford!
Teams don’t generally trade good offensive linemen midseason, even the really bad teams. Because even if you’re a winless team like the Titans, Texans, or Giants, you still want to protect your quarterback and have a functional offensive line in order to help develop the rest of your offense. Moving a wide receiver, running back, or even a quarterback might make more sense than trading a guard who is worth trading for.
It’s not impossible, the Jaguars traded Cam Robinson to the Vikings last year and in 2023 the Vikings traded Ezra Cleveland to the Jaguars. Actually, this may be something exclusive to Minnesota and Jacksonville.
I’m not expecting the Seahawks to get a lot better at right guard during the season, but something will have to change with Anthony Bradford soon.
I’ve seen that show and it’s bad. Imagine how terrible two movies about him would be?
Seaside Joe 2399