How to spend $1 million as a Seahawks fan: Over $100,000 worth of tickets!
It's harder than it sounds and we start with going to every game in style: Seaside Joe 1,586
Could a Seattle Seahawks fan spend $1,000,000 in a single year solely on things related to being a Seahawks fan? I’ll attempt to find out…first by hypothesizing what it would take and then who knows, maybe one day after we reach just 1-percent of the team’s 2.5 million Twitter followers and turn them into paid subscribers we can put it into practice.
But even if that never happens, it would still be interesting to find out how possible a $1 million “fan tab” actually is and what amount of extravagant spending it would take to become the NFL’s biggest pay pig.
Originally this was going to be a one-time article exploring the possibility of spending $1 million on the Seattle Seahawks, but just getting tickets, first class air travel, and five-star hotels to accomodate for all 17 games encompassed enough research and interesting finds to fill an entire newsletter—yet not even coming close to spending $1,000,000.
So this is part I—going to all 17 Seattle Seahawks games in style—and then we’ll try to spend the other $900,000 in no more than two more Seaside Joe newsletters. Make sure you don’t miss the follow-ups and finishing off our $1,000,000 Seattle spending spree (Bluester’s Millions?) by being at least a free subscriber to the newsletter:
Or upgrade to premium if you want to get the bonus content and potentially get us one step closer to the Chateau Marmont. Got ideas for spending big bucks on the Seahawks? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!
I’ve always been a big believer in doing things TO THE EXTREME—hence this is the 1,586th day in a row that I’ve sent out a full article related to the Seattle Seahawks—and spending $1,000,000 on the team in 12 months is no exception. It is, however, harder than I expected. I rarely go to NFL games, in part because I’m too cheap! But I figured that the bill for season tickets, first-class airfare, five-star hotels, Michelin meals, and for TWO people, would be more expensive than it is.
I’m not saying I could afford the following receipt, but I’m sure at least a couple of our readers could pull this off. And remember, if you have tips, suggestions, or corrections to make, I’m trying to spend MORE money, NOT SAVE money.
This newsletter still goes over the email limit, so if you’re opening this in your e-mail, click the Seaside Joe banner above or go to Seaside Joe’s homepage to read the full article.
Home Games - Seahawks season tickets: $11,500 (NE Field Seats)
I’m not well versed on buying any tickets, let alone “season”, especially this late in the year. It may not even be possible to purchase these seats, but let’s attack this from a couple of different angles:
On the Seahawks website, they list the most expensive season tickets as Northeast Field Seats for $11,500. That’s what we would want to buy, but what are the best season tickets we can actually buy? On Vivid Seats, I see Lower Chart 106 season tickets selling for $3,972.
(No this is not an ad. Want proof? Don’t buy Vivid Seats tickets, the website is probably just a front for pirates or cryptoscammers. Or it’s not, I don’t care, but this is not an ad. Nothing in this article is an ad, consider all links to be for fraudulent white collar criminals who will go to jail one day allegedly.)
So maybe the only season tickets I could legitimately buy right now would go for $4,000. In the interest of trying to spend $1,000,000 as a fantasy, I’ll spend $12,000 to go to every home game under the best conditions possible. But it wouldn’t be “fun” to be a Seahawks fan if you had to do it alone, which is why I’ll also need to buy tickets, airfare, and food for Seaside Jay. Double it:
Season Tickets x2: $24,000
I’ve never bought season tickets to anything, let alone the most expensive I could find, but if you have tips (or hidden expenses) I should know about, let me know in the comments.
Away Games (First class, 5-star, best food)
I do not live in Seattle, but I will be doing this exercise as if I do because that’s what will appeal to the most readers of this newsletter. I chose American Airlines first class tickets not out of any preference for the company, but because it was the most convenient nonstop result for my search results.
9/17 - Detroit Lions
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Detroit: $2,798 x 2 = $5,596
3 nights, Atheneum Suite Hotel (premium suite): $1,476
Expensive meal: The Rattlesnake Club
I decided that for this trip I would pump up the cost by having two fine dining experiences for two in each city. Not only because it drives up the price of the trip and gets me closer to $1 million, not only because…I would want to. But also because I feel like you, the readers, would be interested in knowing about some of the fancy restaurants in other cities. If you have suggestions for restaurants in these cities, let me know in the comments!
The Rattlesnake Club offers a $74 beef tenderloin filet, a “rare and costly” wine selection, and views of the city skyline. The Atheneum’s lobby is perhaps only outclassed by the hotel’s name, which sounds expensive.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $621 each for Section 108, Row 28 = $1,242 for two people (with fees)
I’ll just go to StubHub because it’s going to save me time today—not because I think anyone should use that website or any website other than Seaside Joe. I would look for “the best seats” if I had any idea how to do that but instead I’ll be “buying” tickets based on price and my general feeling of the quality of seat location.
10/2 - New York Giants
First class roundtrip, Seattle to New York: $2,268 x 2 = $4,536
3 nights, The Langham Fifth Avenue (Executive Club Room): $3,975
Expensive meal: Masa’s Sushi Bar
Though the Giants might technically play in New Jersey, nobody wants to hear about “the finest things of Newark”. You can watch Real Housewives for that…or The Sopranos.
At Masa’s, you can reportedly spend $595 per person on the tasting menu, so we could easily round that up to $2,000 for two people.
I’m sure there are at least 100 hotels and 1,000 restaurants in New York that could have made this list, I just happened to choose one of each.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $711 each for Section 129, Row 27 = $1,422 for two people (with fees)
10/15 - Cincinnati Bengals
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Cincinnati: $2,028 x 2 = $4,056
3 nights, The Lytle Park Hotel (Executive Suite): $1,827
Expensive meal: Orchids at Palm Court
This place looks awesome.
Cincinnati chili? Try Cincinnati chateaubriand instead. A common answer for “most expensive restaurant” in the city was Orchids at Palm Court, where the chateaubriand entree runs $94 and they have a $14 s’more that I’d try.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $1,129 each for Section 141, Row 1 = $2,258 for two people (with fees)
11/5 - Baltimore Ravens
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Baltimore: $1,362 x 2 = $2,724
3 nights, The Ivy Hotel (Room Ten): $2,643
Expensive meal: Charleston
Most hotels go with basic names for their levels of room, but I like The Ivy’s style by naming everything with a number. And not necessarily in the order you expect! Room Ten is more expensive than Room Eleven.
Named “the most expensive restaurant in Maryland” in 2019, Charleston offered a $124 six-course tasting menu at the time. Their website now lists the six-course meal at $179, so we can easily round that up to $350 per person with wine, tax, and tip.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $312 each for Section 125, Row 12 = $624 for two people (with fees)
11/19 - L.A. Rams
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Los Angeles: $1,081 x 2 = $2,162
3 nights, Chateau Marmont (Premiere One Bedroom Suite): $2,934
Expensive meal: Providence
There are so many hotels to choose from but I’ve never stayed at the Chateau Marmont, so I had to start there:
It’s hard to be the most expensive restaurant in cities like New York and L.A., but Urawasa was given that title by MoneyInc.com. At reportedly $395 per person (before drinks), you can get a 30-course tasting menu—but it seems like Urasawa has been closed for quite some time with no known return. Instead we turn to Providence, chef Michael Cimarusti’s “award-winning seafood cuisine” that was named one of the country’s top-50 restaurants by Gourmet. The tasting menu runs $295 per person without wine.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $711 each for Section C134, Row 14 = $1,422 for two people (with fees)
I really don’t know anything about going to NFL games, so I found these tickets interesting because they have “VIP Club Access w/private entrance and restrooms” and I want to see how that’s different than other experiences. SoFi Stadium is one of the most expensive stadiums ever built and though I toured it in 2020 before it opened, I haven’t been back since to see a game.
You have thoughts on what types of seats at games are the best to watch football? Let me know in the comments!
11/30 - Dallas Cowboys
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Dallas: $1,630 x 2 = $3,260
3 nights, The Ritz-Carlton (Junior Suite): $4,530
Expensive meal: Nick and Sam’s steakhouse
The first time I got accepted to work as press at a football game it was in Dallas. I wasn’t actually being paid to do it though so I stayed in a Super 8 for $40 a night.
(Story for another episode of Seaside Joe: In 2014, I spent 30 days driving around the country and using my credit as a writer for Rolling Stone to go to football games and the Cowboys were the first team to let me in. But I wasn’t being paid by Rolling Stone to do this so I spent at least $4,000 of my own money to travel despite the fact that I had just quit my job in order to pursue being a freelance writer; in short, I drove from L.A. to as far east as the Florida panhandle, to as far north as Buffalo, back west through Denver until getting back to my apartment in Long Beach where I had forgotten to take out the trash because I left in such a hurry.)
All that being said, yes, I think I’d rather stay at the Ritz-Carlton.
I didn’t find prices on the menu at Nick and Sam’s (a good sign), but it sounds like you’re not likely to leave spending less than $350 per person.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $748 each for Section 146, Row 6 = $1,496 for two people (with fees)
12/10 - San Francisco 49ers
First class roundtrip, Seattle to San Francisco: $398 x 2 = $796
3 nights, The St. Regis (Grand Deluxe King Room): $2,418
Expensive meal: Cotogna/Quince
Described as a place “that the Kardashians eat at”, Cotogna sounds like a semi-affordable $100 per person type of Italian restaurant. I’ve never flown first class before, so that actually seems really cheap to me despite how short of a distance it is between Seattle and the Bay Area, but that’s what it says. I know the 49ers actually play in Santa Clara, but you don’t want to “be fancy” there…you want to be fancy in San Francisco and then drive to the game.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $778 each for Section 108, Row 28 = $1,556 for two people (with fees)
I chose these seats almost randomly but strangely enough this is the same section and row as the tickets I picked for the Lions game: 108/28. Maybe that’ll be the final score, Seahawks win 108-28???
12/24 - Tennessee Titans
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Tennessee: $1,298 x 2 = $2,596
3 nights, The Hermitage Hotel (Executive Suite): $12,693
Expensive meal: The Catbird Seat
That hotel price is apparently correct for Christmas weekend, over $4,000 per night for the “best room” at The Hermitage Hotel! And who could blame them? Look at that car parked out front!
Called “the most expensive restaurant in Nashville by a mile” by Worthly.com, The Catbird Seat runs $158 per person or thereabouts and is run by chef Trevor Moran. Unlike our steakhouses from earlier, this is the type of place that serves dishes like this:
Which could be great and better than steak, I’ve just never been to one.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $1,307 each for Section 112, Row A = $2,614 for two people (with fees)
Had to get some 50-yard line seats eventually. TV shows always say these are the best seats.
1/7 - Arizona Cardinals
First class roundtrip, Seattle to Phoenix: $954 x 2 = $1,908
3 nights, The Phoenician, a Luxury Collection Resort (King Room with view): $2,829
Expensive meal: Kai
Something I didn’t know about Michelin stars is that apparently they only really focus on restaurants in California, New York, D.C., and Illinois, meaning it is difficult to get recognized in the U.S. if you’re not located in one of those four states/districts. One of the restaurants that came up often in my search for fine dining in Phoenix was Kai, where I’d like to try the Mexican chocolate souffle for $18.
I’ve never heard of The Luxury Collection before. According to the website, the roots can be traced back to Venice in 1906…and now they’re owned by Marriott, of course. I wonder how their resorts in Okinawa, Venice, Athens, and Dubai compare to Phoenix, Arizona.
Tickets to the game on StubHub: $807 each for Section 237, Row 6 = $1,614 for two people (with fees)
Total roundtrip first class airfare for 2: $13,817 x 2 = $27,634
Total 5-star hotels, 27 nights, best room they had: $35,235
Total 2 expensive meals ($500 each) per trip: $9,000
Total for 2 tickets to each game (good seats): $14,248
Rides to and from airports $100 each way (?) = $1,800
Total for food and water at an NFL game = $2.6 million????
Seahawks Away Games In Style Total: $87,917
This seems wildly “cheap” to me given that I’m trying to spend $1,000,000 but apparently flying first class, staying three nights in five-star hotels, eating at the best restaurants in town, and overspending on NFL tickets doesn’t even get me to 10% of that mark. I went with an estimate of $500 per meal for two people, budgeting two such meals per weekend, and that’s probably generous because I don’t drink. But I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to max out my food per diem!
Then we add in $24,000 for premium season tickets for two in Seattle, and we’re finally over $100,000.
Seahawks home + away games for 2023: $111,917
For the sake of argument—and because it’s feasible—let’s just round that number up to $115,000, giving us $3,083 for incidentals and expenses that I’ve overlooked, including food and water at games. Even if I need more than that for incidentals (rideshare to and from games and/or parking) I doubt that we’ll be able to easily spend $500 per meal without wine.
Oh and yes: I included taxes and fees in my estimates for flights, hotels, and individual game tickets. You can never forget the taxes and fees!
So then if the question is, “Is it possible to spend $100,000 to see all 17 Seattle Seahawks games in 2023?” I think we’ve proven that it is, it’s just a matter of a) getting to be able to buy the most expensive season tickets (we might have to settle for the $4,000 variety, in which case I’ll have a lot more to spend) and b) have I underestimated the budget by overlooking more hidden expenses?
If you like this article, click the heart/like button so I know how to craft future episodes of Seaside Joe. And share it with other Seahawks fans! Perhaps richer ones who might even indulge in some of these suggestions. If you have suggestions, leave a comment. As always, consider either getting a friend a gift subscription or upgrade yourself so I could have even more time to create long, more in-depth articles like this one or our Origin Stories.
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I say just spend the remaining $900,000 on buying every drinking person of legal age as much alcohol as possible; just tell the people running the stadium here's 900k everyone drinks free all night... couldn't be any worse than Nickel Beer Night...
Edit: Ten Cent Beer Night, my bad.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Cent_Beer_Night
"Thinking that Burroughs had been attacked, Texas manager Billy Martin and his players ran onto the field; some with bats. A large number of intoxicated fans—some armed with knives, chains, and clubs fashioned from portions of stadium seats that they had torn apart—surged onto the field, and others hurled bottles from the stands. Two hundred fans surrounded the 25 Rangers, with more fans coming."
Sound like fun. Maybe SSJ should set it up and sell it as a package so we can all finally meet each other in person.