Seahawks number primer: Get to know who you'll be watching for on Saturday
Seaside Joe 1255, 8/12/22: Get to know the numbers of the new Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are making their 2022 preseason debut against the Pittsburgh Steelers and as is well-documented the team made a lot of changes in the offseason, some notable and others easy to overlook. Whether you have followed the team closely for the last six months or not, it would be easy to find yourself confused or distracted as new players, old players, and 27-year-old players rotate on and off the field for four quarters of exhibitionism.
Even I found it distracting when watching the Seahawks mock game last Saturday to keep self-checking “Who’s that?” when a play happened but I didn’t immediately recognize the number.
It should be expected that Seattle fans will do a lot of double takes and “Wait, who’s that”ing during the preseason, and that’s where jersey numbers do come in handy. But only if you know who wears which number. You probably do not know the numbers of more than half of the current Seahawks, and it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that maybe you could recite the numbers of fewer than 10 players on Seattle’s roster.
There’s no #3, for example. No, #54. It’s a new year, a new day, and a new number at many key positions.
I have no idea if any of this will be helpful and there’s a greater than zero chance that by the end of this article you will have forgotten more than you’ve learned. It’s my test run, I ask for your forgiveness ahead of time.
I also ask for your subscription to a free daily Seahawks newsletter+bonus content ahead of time:
These pointers might help you remember some of the numbers set to debut or return on Saturday against the Steelers. This article took a lot more time and research than I expected, so I’m breaking it in half and am starting with the offensive players on the Seattle Seahawks roster. If you share Seaside Joe with a Seahawks friend, I am forever grateful.
QB
2 - Drew Lock: He runs with the 2s in camp
7 - Geno Smith: It’s been 7 years since he was last competing to start
17 - Jacob Eason: When he was 17, he had a very good year. It’s been downhill since then.
Drew Lock apparently outperforms Geno Smith in mock game, but Pete Carroll remains noncommittal dlvr.it/SWPYYt
RB
9 - Kenneth Walker: Ken Walker’s got 9 lives on every play; you think the play is dead, he keeps coming back
20 - Rashaad Penny: 20…Penny
25 - Travis Homer: For the 25th anniversary, Hasbro made a Homer Simpson Mr. Potato Head
31 - DeeJay Dallas: The city of Dallas became the central hub for the Texas oil industry starting in 1931
That means it will be rookie DeeJay Dallas and Travis Homer in the backfield for the #Seahawks
Dallas has posted a 65.3 grade and Homer has a 56.9 grade per @PFF
The Rams have the 3rd overall rush defence in the NFL
34 - Josh Johnson: He’s the third or fourth “Josh Johnson” in the NFL
36 - Darwin Thompson: On Page 36 of “The Descent of Man,” Charles Darwin wrote…”As the progenitors of man became more and more erect, with their hands and arms more and more modified for prehension and other purposes, with their feet and legs at the same time transformed for firm support and progression, endless other changes of structure would have become necessary.”
I’ve never heard an analytics person describe the running back position any better than that.
WR
1 - Dee Eskridge: That’s 1 more snap than Eskridge will play on Saturday
11 - Cody Thompson: Thompson was born on 1/11
13 - Aaron Fuller: Full House ran for eight seasons, Fuller House has been on for five seasons, making a total of 13 seasons
14 - DK Metcalf: Runs the 40-yard dash in 1.4 seconds and he has a 14’ vertical.
15 - Marquise Goodwin: Someone once asked me, “My wife wants to know how to describe Marquise Goodwin’s playing style” and I said, “Tell’er Swift. Tell’er Swift. Tell’er he plays swiftly.” Of course, Taylor Swift released the song ‘15’ once upon a time.
16 - Tyler Lockett: Tyler’s gonna need to drive the offense this season.
18 - Freddie Swain: True story…I used to work at Freddie’s Casino in Renton, WA. You do have to be 18 to gamble there.
19 - Penny Hart: I went to the same high school as the band “Heart” and did you know that their song “WTF” peaked at #19 on the Billboard’s Hot Rock Songs chart?
81 - Bo Melton: The Yankees drafted Bo Jackson in the second round of the 1981 MLB draft
82 - Deontez Alexander: He has a Cameo page and I might pay $82 for a message if he returns
83 - Dareke Young: At the 1983 Young Artist Awards, both John Stamos and Lori Loughlin were nominated for acting awards in the Daytime Series category. They would later to on to play TV couple “Jesse and Becky” on Full House, and you could say that both Dareke Young and Aaron Fuller are competing against each other for a spot on the Seahawks roster. ‘83-Young, it couldn’t be more clear.
“Competing, I feel like it hasn’t really hit me yet”
Lenoir-Rhyne Rookie Dareke Young on what he’s anticipating most for Preseason (Saturday against Pittsburgh) #Seahawks
86 - Kevin Kassis: In 1986, Greek poet Kyriakos Kassis debuted “The Theatre in the Mountain” and if Kevin Kassis makes the Seahawks this year, he’ll debut against the Broncos, a team that puts on shows in the mountains.
88 - Cade Johnson: The 88 Johnson Special is one of the best boat motors on the market. A lot of people mistakenly believe that the term is “wade in the water” but actually I’m quite sure it is “cade in the water.”
TE
47 - Cade Brewer: Try “Bob’s 47 Oktoberfest” or “Carlsberg 47” or 47 Hills Brewing Co. at your next party. Maybe it’ll be when you’re cading in the water at Seafair.
84 - Colby Parkinson: The title of Vol. 84, Issue 1 of “Colby” magazine couldn’t be more accurate:
85 - Tyler Mabry: Carly Rae Jepsen, the singer-songwriter behind the popular song “Call Me, Mabry,” was born in 1985.
87 - Noah Fant: The band NOFX, which is another way to say “Noah Fant,” is generally believed to have started their rise to music relevancy in 1987. If that’s not clear enough, watch this 1987 Fanta commercial. And the 2014 film Noah has a runtime of 138 minutes, but most agree that at least 87 of those minutes were unnecessary. At Wayfair, you can get an 87” Noah pedestal dining table for $2,600.
89 - Will Dissly: Can YouTube videos be fronts of organized crime? Because I found this clip called “My 1989 Diss Track” with three views and I have no idea what’s happening. Diss tracks go back to 1754’s “Yankee Doodle” at least, are as relevant as ever today, and also includes Kool Moe Dee’s ‘89 diss track “Let’s Go,” a return shot against LL Cool J. “Will” has LL in it also.
Seahawks have a potentially loaded group of tight ends — provided their health holds up — led by Greg Olsen (foreground). Will Dissly is practicing but will be eased in coming off an torn Achilles. Rookie Colby Parkinson (fourth round) is on NFI recovering from a foot injury.
OT
67 - Charles Cross: Howard Cross, a Super Bowl-winning tight end on the 1990 Giants, was born in 1967. The first Super Bowl was played in 1967. Howard Cross played at Alabama and English author Helen Cross, also born in 1967, lives in Birmingham, England.
70 - Liam Ryan (PUP): Liam Neeson is 70.
72 - Abe Lucas: In 1972, George Lucas served as an assistant editor on The Godfather, a credit that not many people know about. Coincidentally, Abraham Lincoln is always referred to as “the Godfather of Fourth of July parties” and Sonny Corleone’s favorite car in The Godfather is a Lincoln Continental.
74 - Jake Curhan: At 6’6, you could refer to Curhan as a “Towering Inferno” of sorts, and The Towering Inferno was a movie released in 1974. It was only seven years earlier that Paul Newman starred in another movie as a reluctant hero: Curhan Luke.
78 - Stone Forsythe: The actor William Forsythe, who you might remember in Raising Arizona, The Rock, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, made his film debut in 1978’s Long Shot. Stone Forsythe is considered a long shot to win the right tackle job and the “stone” can also be referred to as “the rock.”
this is the great William Forsythe in The Rock (1996). name one other movie you know him from. or TV show.
G
60 - Phil Haynes: The Hanes adult tagless t-shirt has a 60/40 cotton/poly split. It’s the type of shirt that any man can fill out.
65 - Shamarious Gilmore: The 65th episode of The Gilmore Girls is titled “Those Are Strings, Pinocchio” and details Rory’s graduation from Chilton and planning a trip to Europe. The 1984 re-release of Disney’s Pinocchio made $26 million for a total U.S. box office at the time of $65 million over all of the movies combined re-issues.
66 - Gabe Jackson: The movie Route 66 features actor Jack Lord playing a character named Gabe Johnson. Gabe…Jack…66.
68 - Damien Lewis: “Damien” is the antichrist character from The Omen film franchise. Not officially related, but undeniably forever connected to these movies, would be 1968’s Rosemary’s Baby.
75 - Greg Eiland: According to roblox-saber-simulator.fandom.com, Island 75 is “an egg in Saber Simulator added in update 69.” Okay. Works for me, Greg.
79 - Eric Wilson: Eric Wilson is also the name of the former Sublime bass player Eric Wilson. Eric Wilson met Sublime lead singer Bradley Nowell in ‘79.
C
61 - Kyle Fuller: Damn, there are TWO Fullers on the team??? Could’ve saved that Fuller House bit from earlier. That’s okay, I know of another Fuller in another big family to reference…Fuller McCallister was a Home Alone kid who had a problem with wetting the bed. According to a study in the Journal of Urology, 61-percent of adult women who wet the bed also have a “very high risk of falls.” You know who else had a high risk of falls? Harry and Marv.
*I’m literally just putting it together for the first time that Fuller was played by Kieran Culkin aka Roman Roy. In Succession, Roman’s character has a “wetting the bed” backstory.
63 - Austin Blythe: Earlier this year, a missing 63-year-old Austin man was found alive and safe. To not even go looking for him would have been quite blithe.
64 - Dakoda Shepley: 50 Shades of Grey actress Dakota Johnson is the daughter of actors Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, the former of whom just turned 65 three days ago (but she was 64 prior to that!) and the latter of whom starred opposite of Sam Shepard in Cold in July. Now you’ll never forget that Dakoda Shepley wears #64!
And now you won’t be confused when you’re watching the Seahawks on Saturday. If this wasn’t too insane, I’ll cover the defensive numbers next so make sure you’re subscribed to Seaside Joe before the game on Saturday.
Read the Defensive Numbers Primer here.
While I'm quite sure it's not the first time Charles Darwin has been used for comparisons to NFL football, I'm pretty sure never has he been used as a mnemonic device to remember jersey numbers. Kudos and next level shit Ken!
Easily the most creative and well-researched article yet! My 1989 Diss Track now has 4 views. The highlight was the random Viking marauders. Looking forward to the 2nd half of the series!