Seahawks: Top-5 defense, top-5 WR, top-5 entertainment

Debunk Police takes on running backs, play action, and Stone Forsythe, Week 3: Seaside Joe 2032

Hollywood’s been in a slump recently so I’m going to reveal a cheat code to make any movie better…Just take your movie and PUT IT ON A PLANE. There you go, entertainment industry solved. I’ll tell you why every movie is better when it’s on a plane and why cheat codes—like the Seahawks starting 3-0 against a soft schedule—are not to be taken for granted.

The other day I was watching a movie on Netflix about this couple that adopted these kids that turned out to be vampires and it wasn’t terrible but I didn’t enjoy it either. That’s when it occurred to me that this movie would have been a lot better if it was set on a plane. I think “The Snakes on a Plane trick” is a foolproof re-write that will make a good movie a great movie and a bad movie a good movie:

Snakes on a Plane is a bad movie, so why have I seen it a half-dozen times? Because I need to take snakes terrorize passengers on a plane more than once in my life. That’s something that was probably ingrained in our DNA from caveman days.

Other bad or average movies made 10 times better because they’re set on a plane? Flightplan, Red Eye, Non-Stop, Passenger 57, and a movie that I saw in the theaters last year starring Gerard Butler that was simply called “Plane” that I couldn’t tell you a single detail about and yet I know I’ll see it again because plane.

“Bad? But I like those movies.” Yeah, I know, me too. Planes.

Good movies made great and great movies that are classics? Air Force One, Executive Decision, Con Air, Flight, Airplane. The best scene in Bridesmaids? On a plane. The reason that Die Hard 2 works as a formidable sequel? Threats regarding planes. Leonardo DiCaprio’s first nomination for best actor? The Aviator. The movie that saved Hollywood two years ago? Top Gun 2. Why do we have five Final Destination movies (so far)? Because the franchise started with a plane exploding.

When Samuel L. Jackson agreed to do Snakes on a Plane, it was only because it was called “Snakes on a Plane”. When the producers wanted to change the name of the movie, Jackson told them, “Hell is wrong with you? I signed up for Snakes on a Plane! I guarantee you that audiences will be way more excited about “Snakes on a Plane”…”

And he was right.

Well, he was wrong. Audiences didn’t really like that movie, it kind of bombed a little bit at the time. But I think just the announcement that he was in a movie called Snakes on a Plane is one of the most seminal moments of Samuel L. Jackson’s career and contains arguably the most famous thing he’s ever said in any movie, including Pulp Fiction. I don’t have to say it, you know it and you hear it in his voice.

But it ends with “Plane”.

Hollywood, I’m just saying your bad movies recently would be at least 20% less bad if you just moved everything onto a plane. The biggest box office bomb of the year so far is Argylle, which I didn’t see because I was very confused by the trailer and it contained no planes, hijacks, or flight-related conspiracies. But no matter what the story was about, I would have seen Argylle if it was the exact same movie except that the entire time they were in a plane that was going to crash in 75 minutes.

That’s how you make a movie.

Seahawks haven’t taken flight yet

Unfortunately, the Seattle Seahawks can’t just play their games on a Boeing 757 if and when they are an otherwise underwhelming or frustrating team to watch. And in some ways this season, the Seahawks have been a frustrating, even worrisome team to watch at times despite their perfect 3-0 record. The interior of Seattle’s offensive line, already ranked near the bottom of the league, has been even worse than imagined. The Seahawks have struggled to run the ball effectively on most of their drives this season save a few flashes of brilliance here and there and as a team are 25th in yards per carry. Special teams has been hit or miss and Seattle’s been the sixth-most penalized in the NFL so far. The offense’s average number of yards to gain on third down has been 9.5, which is just…I’ll say it…well, that’s like a whole first down.

So what’s “the cheat code” when you’re a team with a new head coach, new coordinators on both sides of the ball, and the franchise is attempting to re-establish itself as a dominant defense following five straight seasons of ranking in the bottom-10 defenses?

If you need a better script, set it on a plane or at least have some plane scenes. If you need a better defense and a winning record, be sure to face quarterbacks like Skylar Thompson, Tim Boyle, Jacoby Brissett, and Bo Nix as much as possible. There, I fixed your defense and I didn’t have to fall off the Mike Macdonald tree or nothing!

The Seahawks don’t have to apologize for facing teams that by design or by injury didn’t have adequate starting quarterbacks in their games against the Broncos, Patriots, and Dolphins. It’s totally fine to do and in fact preferable if you get so lucky because wins in the NFL are difficult for many franchises to come by and Seattle is one of only five undefeated teams left going into Monday night. I’m not putting the Seahawks down for playing against bad quarterbacks, I’m even echoing Macdonald’s general sentiment that he shared on Monday morning that the Seahawks are 3-0 in spite of how much further they still need to get in their development as a team and a defense.

“There’s a lot to like, I think it’s the mentality, like we haven’t arrived. We’ve done what we need to do to win games. I think that’s where we’re at. I think the guys are going to watch it, there’s a lot of good stuff on tape that we should be excited about and there’s a lot of stuff I think the feeling should be like…Wow, we are still in the infant stages of this thing. We’re able to find three wins in our first three weeks, we need to step on the gas here. It’s an opportunity for us to make a jump as a team.”

Three games into the season, the Seahawks defense is also as dominant as you would hope against those offenses, ranking second overall in EPA/play allowed.

Seattle ranks fourth in points allowed, second in yards allowed, fifth in points per drive, second in passing yards, fourth in first downs, they’re ranked fourth on third down, and fifth in red zone defense, with a total of 11 sacks, 28 QB hits, and by some outlets lead the league in pressures.

That’s all very good, but what I think Seattle’s head coach is saying is that better teams (not just better quarterbacks, but also better teams because New England and Denver especially lack supporting cast) would and will try to take advantage of the gaps and lapses in the Seahawks defense that these first three offenses were virtually incapable of achieving given their personnel and sometimes their coaches.

Right on schedule, the Detroit Lions enter Seattle’s picture next Monday and they rank fifth in rushing yards between David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs running behind many people’s favorite offensive line in football, in addition to two dangerous receivers, Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jameson Williams. (Tight end Sam LaPorta was injured in Week 3, I’m not sure his status for Week 4.)

The Seahawks are, for now, a top-5 defense. The Lions are, to most people, a top-5 offense. What will happen in a week when they test each other’s strengths against the other? We can only find out in eight days, until then it’s just a rumor. This post, Debunk Police, is for rumors and narratives that happened before today.

If you think Seaside Joe is just plane good, please consider upgrading to a paid membership for only $5 per month:

Narrative: DK Metcalf won’t be a top-5 receiver

Rumor: On way to debunktation?

For the first time in his career, DK Metcalf has two 100-yard games in the first three weeks. Metcalf is now the franchise’s all-time leader in 50-yard touchdown catches and it’s possible his 99.9th percentile athleticism in Ryan Grubb’s offense—with Geno Smith now free to unleash some additional international flights aka deep passes in his direction—will result in career-highs across the board. Through three games, Metcalf ranks 10th in yards per route run, sixth in air yardage share (% of Seahawks “air yards” that belong to Metcalf, mostly the result of his 50 and 70+ yard touchdowns), and he’s sixth in receiving yards.

There’s a weekly war being waged between DK’s talent and how much he costs the team in penalties, but take it from Hall of Fame receivers like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens: If you keep catching 50-yard touchdowns, they’ll let you get away with anything!

Narrative: The Dolphins are fine without Tua Tagovailoa

Rumor: DEBUNKED!

Yeah, I said that. It was me. Sorry about that.

Narrative: The Seahawks can’t stop anyone on the ground, not even the Dolphins without Raheem Mostert

Rumor: DEBUNKED!

The Seahawks gave up 99 rushing yards in Week 1, then 185 rushing yards in Week 2, but held De’Von Achane, maybe the fastest running back (if not player) in the league to 11 carries and 30 yards. He had 14 catches in the first two weeks, but Seattle held Achane to only three catches and 28 yards. Backups Jaylen Wright and Jeff Wilson had five carries for 31 yards and most of the production really just came from a couple of runs in the game.

I’m not going to pretend that the Dolphins can run a functional offense with Skylar Thompson and Tim Boyle because that really does not seem to be the case. But I was worried that Miami’s skill players, including Tyreek Hill (40 yards) and Jaylen Waddle (26 yards), would be able to make someone miss and at least get the Dolphins into field goal range. That quite literally never happened once. The Seahawks essentially gave Miami their longest play of the day when they released Dee Eskridge last month.

Narrative: The Seahawks would never have teammates with double-digit sacks, they wouldn’t dare!

Rumors: DEBUNK PACE

I’m not actually trying to impart “pace” into the conversation only three games into the season, but with three sacks each in three games, Derick Hall and Boye Mafe only have to get seven in the next 14 games to reach double-digits. It may be an arbitrary number, but many fans live their entire lives by arbitrary numbers, including me!

It’s even more relevant to Seahawks fans when you consider that it wasn’t long ago when five sacks would have led the entire defense (2019). “He’s playing at a high level right now, so we’re excited about (him),” Macdonald said of Derick Hall, who had two sacks and four QB hits and has probably been a net positive against the run. You can see he had more run defense snaps in Week 3 than Weeks 1 and 2 combined per PFF:

Seattle hasn’t had one player with double-digit sacks since Frank Clark and Jarran Reed both did it in 2018. Between Macdonald’s strategy to generate as many pressures as he did as Baltimore’s defensive coordinator, as the Ravens led the NFL in sacks between 2022-2023, and the talent of Mafe and Hall, envisioning the Seahawks having multiple “stars” on defense this season is becoming increasingly easier to do.

And this is all happening without Uchenna Nwosu, maybe the team’s most complete outside linebacker. Linebacker Tyrel Dodson said, “The depth on this team is crazy,” referring to Seattle’s ability to keep having to make changes due to injuries and still coming up with stops. The Seahawks also got sacks from Dodson, Reed, and Dre’Mont Jones.

Can you imagine if I did a “I’m not tired of these sacks on this plane” joke right now? Can you imagine?

I’m going to keep banging the drum for running backs.

Narrative: Receivers are better than running backs

Rumors: This should be under attack!

Have you noticed this:

There are 14 receivers averaging over 70 receiving yards per game and 13 running backs+1 Lamar Jackson averaging over 70 rushing yards per game. There are three running backs averaging over 100 rushing yards per game, compared to only one receiver (Nico Collins). This has not been happening in football in a long time.

Last year, 16 receivers averaged over 70 yards per game compared to only six running backs. Offensive Player of the Year Christian McCaffrey averaged 91 rushing yards per game which only rank eighth this season. I know that it’s only been three games and running backs are more likely to see their numbers go down in the long run than receivers probably are, but for the first time in a long time it seems like teams want to FEATURE a running back.

Running backs like Saquon Barkley, Alvin Kamara, Derrick Henry, and Josh Jacobs have really made their presence and value been known this season. The Seahawks certainly leaned on Kenneth Walker to get a win in Week 1, and after a shaky start in Week 2, were led to the finish line by Zach Charbonnet in Week 3. Here is his carry chart from Next Gen Stats:

And his touchdown run:

Coming off of his best career game, the Seahawks hope that Zach Charbonnet can return to taking a backseat to Walker when Seattle heads to Detroit. That’s not to say that Charbonnet didn’t earn a bigger slice of the pie moving forward, but only time will tell if the Seahawks want to go back to a divide or if they prefer putting all of their eggs into one basket.

Narrative: Noah Fant is TE1

Rumor: Debunked?

Though he had an impact as a receiver and was nice, I just thought it was interesting that Noah Fant played fewer snaps than Pharaoh Brown. That’s not all. Brown essentially blocked Fant from even playing in 12 personnel formations and ate a huge chunk of his 11 personnel reps too.

Though Fant had fewer snaps, he ran 22 routes, compard to only eight routes for Brown and six routes for A.J. Barner. This is as uncomplicated as it could be: The Seahawks have a receiving tight end and a blocking tight end and they might need to use Brown a little bit more often than they need to use Fant. Oddly enough, no receiving tight ends seem as valuable this year…

Narrative: Stone Forsythe can’t

Rumor: Stone Forsythe CAN!

If Abe Lucas had started at right tackle on Sunday, you wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

We still hope Abe Lucas can come back.

Narrative: The Seahawks…that…RUNNING team?!?!?

Rumor: Under Attack

The premise that a defensive head coach will always complement that side of the ball with a pronounced rushing attack, like Pete Carroll’s Super Bowl teams, is not necessarily the case so far with Mike Macdonald. The Seahawks are 10th in passing attempts this season, but on top of that Grubb is calling 9.2% more passing plays than the expected number of attempts based on Seattle’s down and distance history in the first three games.

This is a team that has invested heavily into their wide receivers so why not push the ball in their direction while Kenneth Walker is on the mend? One thing Grubb won’t do is call play action. The Seahawks are last in the NFL in play action passing attempts.

Whether or not this matters or if it will change in the course of 17 games remains to be seen, this is only one sample size of play action. Sorry, did I say play action? I meant plane action.

It’s always better with plane action.