The Seattle Seahawks launched from Cape Canaveral aboard the Orion spacecraft Friday, beginning their journey to face the Washington Moons tomorrow. Weather is expected to be none.
On Thursday, I asked the Seaside Joe community which non-NFC West teams they hate the most and the top-five answers in the comments were not surprising:
Cowboys
Patriots
Broncos
Raiders
Steelers
The Packers, Chiefs, and Chargers also got multiple mentions. Every time Kansas City plays in primetime, which is often, I will get texts from my mom saying that she can barely stand to see them (or Taylor Swift) on TV and that’s if she could even bear to turn it on. And that’s the great thing about being a fan, isn’t it? You get to love or hate whoever you want and no explanation is required.
But I still love getting to read your explanations in the comments.
Cowboys
MOBILIZER: “It's not about the players - there have been and still are many greats! It's about ownership's annoying pretense built entirely on the distant past. They've been nothing special since forever.”
Nicholas Donsky: “I have hated the Dallas Cowboys ever since they unilaterally claimed to be ‘Americas Team.’ What unmitigated arrogance! No body asked me!”
Patriots
AKBear: “They’ve had so many scandals that they should be renamed to Gate-riots.”
CabMcNabb: “How can you be sore losers AND winners? They'd figured it out”
Broncos
Grant Alden: “The Broncos because I’m old enough to remember.”
Somehow I’ve made it all these years and never heard the term “Gate-triots” before. Is that an AKBear original because it’s otherworldly wordplay if it’s slipped by us for this long.
But the reason I hate the Moons and the Bears is not about anything more than being bored with franchises that consistently bring nothing to the table of my life’s entertainment. Sort of like BW’s reason for hating a team that most fans never think about.
BW: “I hate the Browns. How dare they suck for so long across two different franchises?!”
I agree! It’s been far easier to hate the Browns recently because why does the media keep trying to trick us into thinking we give a shit who starts at quarterback for Cleveland? That’s like keeping tabs on who is being hired as background actors for a Disney original movie.
And speaking of commenters, did you know Seaside Joe’s paid subscribers:
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Going from a non-subscriber to a free subscriber will make your life twice as good and you’ll receive a free newsletter about the Seahawks basically every single day. But upgrading to the Regular Joes ($5/mo) or Super Joes ($10/mo) is known to increase joy by a minimum of tenfold. Join the comments, get the bonus articles, access the archives.
Seahawks-Moons Week 3 Expectations
This week’s expectations survey has yielded surprising results. The first two games saw an average expectation of the Seahawks winning by roughly 12 points, which is already quite high (but warranted), but fans are basically expecting Seattle to be up by that many by the first quarter. Average answer:
Seahawks 33, Moons 9
Over/Under 24-point differential: Under
The vast majority of answers had the Seahawks in the 31-34 range and the Moons in the 6-13 range. What’s amazing is that this average answer could not have been orchestrated by you collectively and yet Seattle beat the Moons last season by 24 points. 38-14.
So it’s hardly what I would call unrealistic.
Seattle had five wins last season of at least 24 points, so it’s not necessarily “easy” for me to take the under. However, 24 points is still a lot and Sam Darnold will essentially be playing in his first game since the Super Bowl, so I’m going to take the less fun and safe side and say under.
Yards for (Seahawks QB): 258 yards
Over/Under: Over
On Thursday, we didn’t know who would be starting for the Seahawks. Now we know that it’s going to be Darnold. I don’t think that would change the final result by much given Drew Lock’s fantastic performance last week.
Darnold was over this mark 8 times last season and under this mark 12 times. I’m going to take the over though because Washington’s defense sucks and Darnold had 330 against Dan Quinn’s defense in 2025. Can you believe that a couple of years ago fans were debating if Quinn would be a better hire than Mike Macdonald? (I don’t think there were many people who didn’t think Macdonald was better, but given Quinn was available to hire much sooner I think fans were antsy to get something done quick.)
Rushing Yards for Jadarian Price: 68.5 yards
Over/Under: Under
One of the reasons I wanted to do a weekly expectations survey is that it allows fans to know what it’s like to put your feelings out there in writing and sometimes have them crushed. There’s nothing wrong with being wrong! In fact, I’ve found that it helps a lot with future expectations — and Price is a great example of seeing our expectations change in real time.
Last week, fans expected Price to rush for 86 yards. This week that number flipped around and fans expect him to rush for 68 yards. I find that expectation to be more measured and realistic. I’ll still take the under.
Price has yet to rush for anything other than 52 yards and now Emanuel Wilson has earned more opportunities. Realistically, I could see Jadarian Price gaining 52 yards on any single carry from Seattle’s 1 to 48-yard line, he’s that good. But on the safe side, I think under 68 until we see it.
Yards for Jaxon Smith-Njigba: 128 yards
Over/Under: Over
What’s most amazing is that JSN is averaging 133 yards per game so far. He had eight catches for 129 yards against Washington last season (again, an impressive average expectation you made as a group this week) and I’m not expecting anything less this time, as he needs to work on getting back into a rhythm with Darnold so why not 12-15 targets this week?
WR2: Rashid Shaheed
My answer: A.J. Barner
Another sort of blowout here, as Shaheed had more than twice as many votes as second place:
Shaheed, 42%
Barner, 19%
Kupp, 18.5%
Horton, 16.4%
Shaheed doubled his targets last week, from three to six, and had 35 yards. Which is a lot by non-JSN standards. This is a difficult expectation to manage because not a single pass catcher has stood out this season besides JSN and so someone’s about to pop off — it might be Tory Horton — and we just don’t know who it is. The only reason I’m going to say Barner is Seattle’s usage of 12 personnel (50%, way more than any other team) and 13 personnel (14 snaps out of 13 last week).
First Touchdown: JSN
My answer: JSN
Slightly closer results:
JSN, 33%
Price, 20%
Barner and Wilson, 13.8%
Most interesting answer someone gave: Brady Russell.
Most Sacks: Byron Murphy II
My answer: Leonard Williams
Okay, now we’re onto something:
Murphy, 24.1%
Leo, 23.6%
Derick Hall, 20.5%
Murphy and Williams were separated by one vote. One fan voted “Demarcus Ware”.
Most Likely to Force TO: Julian Love (oops)
My answer: Ernest Jones IV
Obviously the survey was sent out before the news that Love is out this week. I’ll go with Jones because he’s due.
Love, 19.5%
Devon Witherspoon, 18%
Jones, 16%
Nick Emmanwori, 9%
Offensive Player: JSN (67%)
Defensive Player: Byron Murphy (18%)
Special Teams Player: Michael Dickson (43%)
Yeah, JSN is just dominating this category every week. Even if you combined all the votes for Darnold, Lock, Price, and every other player on offense, it wouldn’t come close to the number of votes for JSN. Conversely, Murphy beat Williams by only two votes. Witherspoon was only six votes behind Williams. Love and Jones were only vote behind Witherspoon.
Dickson is also dominant, but Shaheed had a nice 25% of the vote. However, it’s not about being with the consensus, it’s about sticking to your guns. The answer might be “Brady Russell” and if that’s who you put, you might win Week 3’s “greatest expectations award”!
We’ll find out tomorrow. See you up there.
Does anyone else see the incongruity of expecting your punter to be the special teams player of the game when we’re also expecting a blowout win?
I get it in that Dickson is our best special teams player, but I really don’t expect to see him in the game except to hold on PATs and FGs.
I try to avoid the word 'expectations' in favor of 'predictions', 'hopes' or 'wishes.' In my brain, expectations imply a personal demand or standard that others must live up to. Because I'm a proud know-nothing, I can't expect anything.
A semantic riff perhaps, but as Sammy Davis Jr. sang, "I gotta be me!".
I wish and hope for - and also predict - a Hawks win, but please, minus any cardiac stress (like playing down to Moons' level) or serious injuries.
The whole "which team do you hate" poll awakened my hateful side. That's both bad and good. Too much hate in this world already! Or, get those feelings out in the open and move on! Hate the 'Chiefs' fetishization of First Nation people and the Swiftie hoohah. The Pats? Kraft is so repulsive, and their cheating history. And both teams have also won a lot. Arrrgh!
Gotta say, I love the Bills, the whole mafia thing, Josh Allen and a pricey/beautiful new stadium in the rust belt! See? Love conquers hate!